I never thought I’d be a wedding planner.
In fact, I never really knew what I wanted to “be”. I wasn’t a kid with dreams of becoming an astronaut, or a doctor, or any career, really… I directed plays with my sister and my friends, pretended to be a fairy in the backyard, read any book I could, wrote my own book, and crafted my little heart out. By the time I started college, I had found a passion for criminal justice (specifically, being a police officer), but the school I went to did not offer that major, so I pursued a major in business administration instead (because that’s the most logical choice, right?). Midway through, I changed my major to psychology. I have always been fascinated with humans, our emotions, and the way our brains work. It was through these studies that I realized that my brain/the way I process things was not suitable for a police officer lifestyle. I also knew I would not thrive as a psychologist.
When I graduated, I still didn’t know what I wanted to do, which made the Type A / planner side of me ridiculously anxious. And then I realized… maybe the Type A / planner side of me was my core strength. Maybe the fact that I was a littttttleee too into aesthetics and tiny details was a strength. Maybe my imagination was a strength. Maybe working best under pressure was a strength. And perhaps my biggest strength was my inherent drive to help and serve people - even if it wasn’t in police officer or psychologist form.
A quick google search of all of these attributes indicated that I should be an event planner. So I figured: sure, why not? I’ll give it a try.
Fast-forward, and here we are: I’ve been a wedding planner for 8 years. EIGHT. YEARS. Oh my goodness, what is even happening! These years have been some of the best of my life. They’ve also taught me a lot - usually by learning the hard way. I’ve never experienced something so simultaneously challenging and rewarding.
While I still have soooo much to learn, I thought I’d share 8 notes about becoming a wedding planner in celebration of 8 years of being one. These are notes that I wish I’d had when I got started, and I hope they are helpful as you go on your own journey!
n o . 1
Decide if you want to be a wedding planner AND a business owner, or if you’d prefer to just focus on the wedding planner part (i.e. work for an already established wedding/event planning firm). I chose the former, and I will tell you that being a wedding planner and being a business owner are two very different learning curves.
n o . 2
While there are certainly some wonderful books, tutorials, and even programs offering courses and certifications for wedding planning, the best way to learn and find out if you are cut out for being a wedding planner is by JUMPING IN. All in. Being hands-on and working a wedding in its entirety will teach you more than you could ever learn elsewhere.
Okay, easier said than done, right? What if you have no experience and don’t even know where to start? You may need to get creative with how you learn in the beginning! I knew nothing about the wedding industry when I decided to take my leap into wedding planning, and didn’t have any luck initially with finding wedding planners who needed assistants or interns, so I decided to get my foot in the door in other ways. I learned about floral design in the floral department of my home town grocery store, I interned for a wedding photographer (huge shout out to Melissa of Aziz Studios for giving me this opportunity!), and I worked as the venue coordinator at the beautiful Lairmont Manor for a summer. Each of these opportunities gave me so much hands-on experience with weddings that has helped me immensely throughout my entire career.
n o . 3
The absolute BEST way to establish yourself as a trusted wedding planner in your industry is by networking. In my first two seasons of wedding planning, I literally sent hundreds of emails to wedding professionals in every category, asking if they would meet me for coffee or cocktails. I received responses to about half of my emails, and some of those responses very nicely turned me down. I’ll always remember when I emailed every single wedding planner in the small town I lived in when I first started my company, and only received a response back from ONE of them. But that one who responded is now one of the most well-known wedding designers in the country, and his willingness to meet with me when I was a “nobody” is something I’ll never forget.
It is important to note that my prerogative was to connect with people in the wedding industry, NOT to grill them, or try to get free tips/information. While I was very eager to learn, I quickly found that best practice was to remain humble and gracious, and work hard to form mutual trust before trying to ask for advice. Building trust with other industry professionals took a lot of time and patience, and also a lot of proving myself via my actions and my work ethic.
n o . 4
Proving yourself and building a portfolio both require a lot of time and a lot of hustle. I started out by offering my wedding planning services for free on Craigslist. I literally had no idea what I was doing, and formed a quick waiver document that my clients signed, acknowledging that they understood as much (and were, in turn, receiving free services so that I could learn). In my first season, I worked 12 weddings for free* and those weddings provided me with a world of experience, thousands of photos for my portfolio, and, most importantly, new connections with the teams I worked with. I am forever grateful to the 12 couples who trusted me to manage their weddings with zero experience. They are a huge part of my story. *(I will note that I do not recommend providing free work for 12 weddings! 2 or 3 is enough to gain the experience you need to start charging for your services, even if it is a very small amount).
n o . 5
Once you start receiving a steady flow of client inquiries (yay!), be prepared for rejection and don’t take it personally. There were many times early in my career when I would ruminate for hours about why I didn’t book a couple I thought I’d connected with. There have been countless times when I’ve spent hours corresponding with someone, only to have them ultimately fall off the face of the earth. I’ve questioned myself, my business, my package offerings, my pricing, even the way I worded a sentence in an email (did I scare them with my use of exclamation points?). Don’t be afraid to send a couple of follow-up notes (sometimes people really do just get busy and forget!), but ultimately, part of being a business owner is being able to say “this wasn’t meant to be” and then promptly shifting your focus and energy back to clients who HAVE chosen to work with you.
n o . 6
Once you have a few weddings under your belt, it’s important to define your mission and purpose as a wedding planner. Who do you want to serve? Where do you excel? What makes you feel accomplished? What can you provide that other planners cannot? Do you have a specialty or a niche? Don’t overthink this stuff. It will come naturally as you gain more experience. Also know that it will likely shift over time. When you first start, it may be a much wider umbrella of target clients than it will be when you’re three or five years in. It took me at least five years to really feel comfortable with how I fit into the industry, and to understand the types of clients I am able to serve well. My purpose is more based in feeling an immediate connection with the people I work with, above all else.
n o . 7
While it’s important to go above and beyond and serve your clients well, setting boundaries and sticking to them is just as important. If you love being a wedding planner (and/or business owner) as much as I do, it may be really difficult to set distinct work hours and personal life hours. You may also feel guilt if you take time for yourself when you have emails waiting, or don’t respond to a client’s 9:00pm SOS text until the next day. It took me a long time to set office hours and (somewhat) stick to them, but the reality is that if you don’t ever take a break, you WILL reach burnout, and that doesn’t serve anyone well. The other reality is that your clients are also humans who take breaks and they will understand you wanting to have a life outside of work / office hours. If you set these boundaries early in your relationships with your clients (I have mine stated in my contract and in my email signature), there will be no confusion about when you are available to assist them, and everyone is happy.
n o . 8
Last, but certainly not least: from start to finish, your team of wedding professionals is your everything. Whether it’s the teenager scraping dishes, or the veteran MC bringing your timeline to life for your couple’s guests - you simply cannot do your job well without every single person on the team, and none of them should be taken for granted. In the hustle and bustle of a wedding day, if you take the time to be kind and respectful to every person you interact with, not only will they feel more motivated and energized to work hard all day, you will also truly stand out. The way you make people feel is memorable - use this as one of your greatest wedding planner tools.
Image Credit (from left to right):
Alexandra Celia | GH Kim Photography | Fengxian
